Sunday, 9 December 2007

Of Muhammads and Teddy Bears

Teddy Bears & Muhammads: Not The Best of Bed Fellows

Religion, it seems, has a peculiar desire to throw their weight around, like a petulant brat of a kid who, in a brawling, unreasoning mien, refuses to back down on the particular toy car he has set his sights on.

From demands to boycott supposedly blasphemous works, such as the Da Vinci Code, and the latest works by Philip Pullman, "The Golden Compass", Christians, it seems, are quite brow beaten by the fact that their religion no longer holds that much of a sway in the media and in particular, Hollywood, and they seem hell-bent on grabbing some of their old influences back.

Radical Muslims, however, prefer to take the "crash and burn" route: Protests and shootouts galore, when some infidel or kafir decides to depict Muhammad or Allah in an unflattering light: After all, pictorial representations of both prophet and deity alike are considered blasphemous in the beautiful world of Islam (Their aesthetic sense can perhaps be represented by the somewhat Martian-like dressing known as the burkha: A drab, shapeless piece of clothing that covers the woman from head to toe, leaving a slit for the eyes so that the poor woman doesn't knock herself senseless into onrushing traffic. Allah be praised).

When certain acts of blasphemy are allegedly committed by non-Muslims, Muslim radicals are apt to go bananas and take the accused infidel to task: Riots by ignorant buffoons against such supposedly unpardonable crimes are usually rampant in Muslim-dominated cities, followed by cries of execution against the alleged offender. Popular figures, such as Aryaan Hirsi Ali and Salman Rushdie, often have to live under the ominous shadow of a fatwa, or a religious edict, by some pompous religious leader who simply wants an axe to grind against those incorrigible infidels.

& so, the recent case of a teddy bear named Muhammad became the latest furore to rile the Muslim radicals yet again.... and once again, the ancient laws of blasphemy raises its ugly head.

Teacher Guilty in "Muhammad" Teddy Bear Case

KHARTOUM, Sudan - A British teacher in Sudan was convicted Thursday of the less-serious charge of insulting Islam for letting her pupils name a teddy bear “Muhammad,” and was sentenced to 15 days in prison and deportation to Britain.

Gillian Gibbons could have received 40 lashes and six months in prison in the case if found guilty of the more serious charge of inciting religious hatred and given the maximum penalty.

Blasphemy: A Criminal Offense?

It is quite unthinkable and frivolous to me, or any liberal-minded individual, that anyone can be sentenced to 40 lashes and 6 insidious months in prison for a rather innocuous act of naming a a teddy bear: One would even question the barbarity of such a sentence.

Religious intolerance, when interwoven with the web of secular law, becomes an ominous institution of unlawful abuse: Anyone who harbors a vendetta against a individual can manipulate a harmless act, such as naming teddy bears, or even whipping up a dish of bacon (Muslims don't eat pork. Us infidels who aren't vegetarians can hardly live a day without a few slices. Mama mia!), & condemn the act as a misdemeanor in the eyes of the Sharia Court.

Teacher Fled By Presidential Pardon: Questions Asked

Fortunately, Gillian Gibson had a Presidential Pardon from the President of Sudan, which granted her release, and sparing her from the whip. As if such a harmless act of teddy bear playtime ever requires an act of pardoning!

Whenever we read such outrageous news in the media, we should ask ourselves whether we can afford to grant religion any kind of respect: If respect can only be demanded through violence, torture and subjugation, then it is perhaps high time for us to stop giving such archaic, nonsensical teachings a wide berth and start questioning the need to even harbor such cruel and ridiculous dogma.

Now that I am finished with my rant, can someone come up with the name of my new teddy bear???

-A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties and needs; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death.

Albert Einstein


Infidel753 said...

I think you can see why rational people in western Europe don't want these nutjobs spreading this kind of stuff in their countries. They've spent the last 1,700 years dealing with the last Middle Eastern death cult that managed to spread there, and now that they've got that one more or less neutered, they don't to have to start all over with another one.

My favorite response to the teddy bear case was from Dan Savage, the gay columnist. He said he was going to show what he thought of the Islamists by buying a butt plug and naming it Muhammad.

I can't help comparing this case to the one of the rape victim in Saudi Arabia who was sentenced to 200 lashes. Apparently, in the Bizarro-world Islamic value system, being raped is a sin five times more serious than blasphemy.

As for your teddy bear, try naming it Joseph Smith. What with all the incoming fundamentalist fire Romney's drawing, the Mormons are probably too busy to come after you.

----- Infidel753

tina said...

How about L.Ron?

handmaiden said...

It's hard for me to imagine that some people in the world are so primitive as to fall for this " Bizarro-world Islamic value system" as you so aptly call it. But, they do. As a secular humanist i try to keep in mind that i'm not so different then other people. it makes me wonder what kind of delusions i'm capable of?
Come to think of it. I've been down the weird religious road before so i guess I'm not immune.

BEAST said...

Joseph Smith. Ah, the mormon who started the moronic movement. Sounds great. what does that stand for?


tina said...

L.Ron Hubbard. Sorry, you may not of heard of him....or have you? Didn't you do a post on scientology? :)

BEAST said...

Ah. Hubbard, that I remember. Sorry I missed it.........didn't get the initials.


Modusoperandi said...

My minor contribution to this incident...There is no God but Allah, and Paddington Bear is His Messenger! Alla hu Akbear! Alla hu Akbear!

handmaiden said...


That was really funny! so were the other links. :)

tina said...

Hey beast, you have been tagged again...please visit misterjebsblog.

breakerslion said...

My standard comment on this story:

You can name any masochistic, misogynistic, pinhead son Muhammad, and not be accused of insulting the prophet, but look out for those Teddy-bears!

Best defense: "We named the bear after Muhammad, the owner of the 14th Street 7-11 and part-time drug dealer! No, wait, I think it was Muhammad the cab driver that washes his sandaled feet in the airport restroom sink. Now that I think about it, it was Muhammad the camel-driver, who smuggles blood diamonds out of Sierra Leone in the cootch of female camels! So you see, the bear wasn't named after your prophet at all!"

PS: I happen to be doing a sendup of L. Ron at the moment. Thinking about cross-posting on Temple of the Invincible Beastmaster when it's done. That site has been inactive for too long!