Thursday, 21 August 2008

The Trinitarian Tale: Of Commies, Olympics and Religious Knuckleheads

Its the time of the leap year again: Every four years, one lucky nation gets a chance to host the once-in-every four-years event, otherwise known as the Olympics(provided, of course, the nation doesn't bankrupt itself first!).

A disenchanted monk, fed up at not being able to represent Tibet in the Olympics Boxing Match, Lets his fists do the talking.

Amidst the bro-ha-ha of the Michael Phelps, the American Basketball "Redeem Team" (NBA standards have fallen quite a fair bit since the Jordan Era) and other ridiculously muscled athletes, the Communist Party in China seems to revel in stealing the international limelight, albeit with hiccups: An American coach has been stabbed, bombs have been thrown and bantered about like candy bars by our all-affable, teddy bear loving Muhammadians and jihadists, and who can forget the Tibetans, who, prior to the Olympics, were all jumping and aching for an October Revolution in Tibet, so that they can once again turn the clock and send the Mongolian populaces straight back into archaic, Vatican style theocratic rule?

Ah yes, everyone loves the Olympics: From the average Joe on the street who simply loves to watch some NBA punk dunk the ball into the basket, to the run-in-the-mill extremist, everyone has something to take away from the international event, and now, it seems, the Christian evangelists want a piece of their damn cake and maybe, just maybe, eat the whole damn cake themselves!

China confiscates Bibles from American Christians

By GILLIAN WONG, Associated Press WriterSun Aug 17, 10:17 AM ET

Chinese customs officials confiscated more than 300 Bibles on Sunday from four American Christians who arrived in a southwestern city with plans to distribute them, the group's leader said.

The Bibles were taken from the group's checked luggage after they landed at the airport in the city of Kunming, said Pat Klein, head of Vision Beyond Borders. The group, based in Sheridan, Wyoming, distributes Bibles and Christian teaching materials around the world to "strengthen the persecuted church," according to its Web site.

Ah....The persecuted Church. It is a quaint little idea. When Christians and their missionary compatriots encounter resistance of any sort, be it the Renaissance, the Communists, or the pagans, they usually counteract with either one of two responses:

1. Play the "abused housewife" role: Like bawling little babies, these Christians will make use of their supposed plight in not being able to reach out to the masses, and usually turn it into a PR windfall. Sympathy votes are garnered, outright international condemnation for the alleged abuse or torture of a bunch of harmless, Bible-inspired sheep (more like wolves in sheep's clothing!) and ultimately winning more converts to their erstwhile cause.

2. Alternatively, a better option, provided, of course, they are well supported by powerful allies, is to engage the help of an armed militia against hapless tribes people, who, decked with leaves and armed with little else other than spears and peacock feathers, can hardly be expected to muster any form of meaningful resistance against their religious oppressors.


The Aztecs: Long-forgotten Victims of Christian Genocide

From the Inquisitors of Spain in Mexico (who, besides forcibly converting the masses into Christianity and burning those who stubbornly refuse to submit to Jebus, looted, pillaged and finally destroyed the once-thriving civilization which we know today as the Aztecs), to the notorious witch hunts, Christian missionaries, colluding with local militias who are all but emboldened by these supposedly harmless servants of God, have proven time and again that given the right opportunity and timing, they could enforce the wrath of their deities in ways more draconian than even the worst tyrants and despots the world can ever muster.

In today's context, the Communist Party is, quite definitely, the stronger adversary: The missionary, therefore, has to toe the line when spreading their crap load of Jebus horseshit. After all, the Communists have always been leery of religions and their ills: They were, after all, supporters of capitalists rogues, riffraffs and other undesirables, and were considered to be devious tools of tyranny and oppression.

"I heard that there's freedom of religion in China, so why is there a problem for us to bring Bibles?" Klein said. "We had over 300 copies and customs took all of them from us."

My Answer: Given their long standing grievances against religion, and the additional pressure of the Olympics, it wouldn't be unfathomable or illogical, from a reasonable point of view, to expect China to tighten their defenses against any form of potential disturbances that might jeopardize their spot in the limelight.

But alas, Christians, being Christians, are apt not to follow any train of logic: Of all the places and time to proselytize their biblical drivel, they insist on making a mountain out of the damn molehill. Wouldn't expect less from a bunch of dim-witted morons, who actually didn't realize that China doesn't really need more bibles from their generous American hosts:

The move comes as China hosts the Olympics in Beijing, where false media reports last year claimed Bibles would be banned from the games. The state-run China Daily reported last month that 10,000 bilingual copies of the Bible would be distributed in the Olympic Village, which houses athletes and media.

Bibles are printed under the supervision of the Communist government. The officially atheistic country only allows them to be used in government-sanctioned churches and in some big hotels catering to foreigners.

Yup, China does print bibles, for Jebus's sake! Of course, Christians can go gripe about Christians in China being persecuted (Well, get over it, Jebus fans, at least they didn't nail them to the cross.....Crucification is not S.O.P in the evil, communist Republic of China!), the validity of communist-inspired bibles (frankly, it makes no difference how the commies dish out their holy babbles: Trash, after all, will be trash!), about a curb in freedom of expression and free speech, which is something I, and perhaps my liberal friends and colleagues, would vehemently disagree.

But keep in mind that China is a nation of 1.3 billion folks: Any attempts to drastically alter the balance of power (a prime example being the spectacular breakup of the Russian empire after the fall of Communism) will result in unspeakable hardships and economic spill over that can perhaps be described as cataclysmic.

While Klein and his bible friends can moan about the loss of their precious bibles, dozens of other groups, ranging from the Falungong to the pain-in-the-ass Lama, have received far frostier treatments from the Commies. At least, from this count, they can't claim exclusivity in their quest for the ultimate "Sole Abused Housewife" tag.

& finally, to cap this dreary episode from the Beijing Olympics, there is but an ounce of truth in this sordid, wholly drummed-up episode of a tear-jerking, missionary-inspired story:

"We don't want to go without taking those books. It cost us a lot of money to bring them here," Klein said. "They're saying that it's illegal to bring the Bibles in and that if we wanted to, we had to apply ahead of time for permission."

"The Love of Money is the Root of all Evil." -St Paul


Larro FCD said...

Hey brotha! Long time no "see".

Excellent post. I hadn't heard about this story. Nor did I know that China prints their own bibles. Maybe the missionaries didn't know either, in which case it appears they were wasting their time. Seems to me like some kind of stunt, all-in-all.

Larro FCD said...

Why is it saying the post is in May?

BEAST said...

Wait. I will change it.

tina FCD said...

I hadn't heard this either. It seems to me, if someone wanted a bible they would go buy one or get one from a mission. You can even buy them in the used book stores and the Goodwill stores.
Why raise hell about the bibles being taken? Just grab your bibles and leave China.

I love the title of this post by the way. :)

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