Thursday, 16 April 2009

The Hilarity of Bullshit: A Christian in Wonderland

One of the chief reasons why I left Christianity, and eventually gave up on the frivolity of religion altogether is the problem of sectarianism: More often than not, religion expounds on the type of unctuous self-promotion that propagates the "me-against-them" attitude, encouraging its god-effacing god into embracing an entrenched mentality which drives the mind into severe bouts of psychotic spasms.

As followers of this blog should know, Daniel the homophobic Christian has earned my ire and infamy with his silly, off-the-cuff bigotry, and in our latest series of verbal swipes, Daniel once again convinces me why a siege mentality employed by religion is the surest way down the path to mental breakdown:

1. Hating God, Hating God's Law?

On his blog, I posted the following comments about Daniel's slimy, shady character, which I did type from the bottom of my heart:

"And it is because of people like you I quit Christianity altogether. I simply cannot fathom myself becoming one of you, full of self righteousness, bigotry and utter stupidity.

And thanks for reminding myself how lucky I am NOT TO BE A CHRISTIAN."

Daniel Responded:

"No, it is because you hate God and His Law. You as a creature detest the fact that you have to answer to your Creator after your death, and just like Stalin, you shake your fist and scream to the heavens and tell God: I REJECT YOU AS MY CREATOR AND LORD. Despite God's gracious gifts to you, you spit on His goodness, insult Him to His face, and would kill Him if you could do so. "

More often than not, I am sure that atheists like myself have often emphasized on one particular premise: There most likely is no God. There is no evidence to proof that a deity ever existed in the past, and chances are, none will turn up in the foreseeable future, unless, of course, you consider gay-looking, cosmopolitan, sensitive new age men to be saviors of the supernatural variety (You know, like.....Jebus???).

Granted, no one can ever prove a negative, and God, or Gods might actually exist, even if the odds are infinitesimally small. Assuming God does exist, he probably won't give a shit about the mundane affairs of mere mortals, and such a God, or even a colony of God heads (like the pantheons of Greek Gods on Mount Olympus), would hardly be worth an iota of attention from us, considering the randomness and callous nature of Earth and its earthly mechanisms, such as Mother Nature, devastating earthquakes, and so on and so forth. In short, a deistic deity who cares naught for our wants and needs.

A god who doesn't exist or a god who doesn't give a shit isn't deserving of our praise nor our outrage; Being an atheist, I am pretty much confident that the absence of evidence pointing towards a supernatural deity is a valid reason for us to discredit such a anthropomorphic entity. Since there isn't a God in the first place, how the heck are we supposed to hate God? To put it in a better perspective, where should we direct our vitriol, perceived hatred, and the damn spit at? A spittoon, maybe?

2. Of Ostriches and the Great Vast Dessert

Me & the Big Fat Ostrich.......Bloody Hell!!!!

In line with this train of thought, Daniel directs his arguments in his own exegetical, religious mode: The truth, it seems, lies in the ostrich with its head stuck in the sand, butt sticking out so that Jebus can enjoy a bird's eye view of the ostriches big, fat, succulent ass!

"Never mind that the very fact that you can continue to exist for one more second is because of His grace. Depraved sinners suppressing the knowledge of God within their hearts, rebelling against Him with all of their might, and hoping desperate that if they will silence the messengers totally, God will disappear from the scene. Worse than ostriches putting their heads in the sand, such people will try all means to silence the message, yet they can never silence their conscience, which constantly accuse them of their evil and hatred of the One who gave them life in the first place."

Oh yes, Daniel alludes me to the damn fat ostrich (Now I feel a little aggrieved and insulted....tsk tsk), along with other usual Jebus diatribes: I am a bloody sinner who happens to deny God, and of all things I own my one second of existence to his graciousness.

Such words of veneration will be fine and dainty unless, of course, it applies to everyone: Right now at this very moment, billions of people are going hungry, and many of them are going to sleep tonight on nothing else but empty stomachs and empty dreams. Sure, these poor bastards owe their one second of existence to a deity who doesn't seem to be bothered to provide them with even a decent drop of clean, drinking water. Makes me feel all welled up in emotion and love for this deity who doesn't really seem to give a damn for the welfare of the poor and the down-trodden!

3. The Beast Gnashes His Teeth!!!

And guess what's my next move? Clever Daniel with all his clairvoyance says it all, on my behalf:
"[You can just about hear the gnashing of teeth now]"

Ouch. I wonder why I should be gnashing my teeth.......ouch, the cramp in my thighs maybe? Wait penis is on fire........must be the hot chick I saw on my way off work......

Seriously, reading such incredulous comments do make my day. After a hard day's work, nothing drives me off my nuts than a good gnashing of my own teeth.

4. Jebus is Coming Back on A Spaceship! Repent or Burn, ye Earthlings!!!!

"Beam me Up Lordy!!!" Jebus and the Amazing Flying E.T........

And finally, Daniel proclaims salvation: Indeed, Christians have been predicting the arrival of the Messiah for almost two millennial!

But alas, Jebus really needs to engage a good mechanic; otherwise, folks like Daniel are going to be sorely disappointed.......

"However, we have hope: that God will regenerate His own, and will change the hearts of those He has prepared for salvation, such that all of God's people who hear the Gospel will repent and turn from their evil to life in Christ. Nothing can stop the power of the Holy Spirit in changing the hearts of those He will, not even the rebellious heart of callous atheists. God calls all men to come and repent. Why will you die? Why follow the path of destruction? Recognize your sin, turn to Christ so that you may live."

Daniel in Wonderland: Living in a Imaginary World of Minefields and Delusions

Like a convoluted version of "Alice in Wonderland", Daniel believes in magic thinking: God, above all else, loves him, will redeem him of his "sins", and save him from the dreariness and the sufferings of his mundane existence.

And it is with a sense of trepidation that accompanies me when I wonder what would happen to me if I had persisted in believing in epistemological bullshit of this kind: Will I become a religious zombie, the same sort of idiots who would not hesitate to lampoon folks whose creeds do not align with mine? Or the hypocritical creep, who would not hesitate to impose my religious beliefs on others who want no part in the ways of a Jebus-loving cult?

One thing I do know for sure: Like Alice in Wonderland, Daniel lives in his own, imaginary world, a world plagued by his own inner demons. And I am so damn glad that I am not a Christian, or worst yet, a Christian fundamentalist with one finger up my own damn arse.

Man: The Religious Animal???

-"Man is a Religious Animal. Man is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion -- several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight. He has made a graveyard of the globe in trying his honest best to smooth his brother's path to happiness and heaven.... The higher animals have no religion. And we are told that they are going to be left out in the Hereafter. I wonder why? It seems questionable taste."

Mark Twain