Saturday, 19 May 2007

Jerry Falwell Eulogy: Good Riddance

Falwell: His 73 year old carcass was found slumped on his desk, according to Hitchens.

Normally, the adage of "letting the dead rest in peace" tends to apply to most deceased people. After all, their bodies may have given up their last breath, but immediate relatives, family members and close friends will still be grieving over the loss of the deceased.

With Jerry Falwell's passing (Christopher Hitchens describes his "carcass" found slumped over his desk on 15th May 2007. Sounds like a dead piece of fish or something rotten), a lot of vitriol and vermin has been spilled from the Atheists' camps, and those from the Conservative Rights seem adamant that us atheists are so full of hate for a man who seems, well, overweight, genial, rolly-polly, and, well, just like any other typical conservative American.

There is a reason, however, behind the vehemence, and that his views may well speak louder than his words.

Falwell's Views of Hatred

As a "Reverend", Falwell has made it a point to air his vitriol whenever and wherever he seems fit, and this includes broadcasting networks, Christian networks, and his favorite pulpit.

Making full use of the title of "Reverend", he managed to smuggle his big fat ass into almost every secular broadcasting network to spread his otherwise unspeakable banter.

Chief amongst Falwell's Agenda:

1. Getting rid of secularity of the Constitution, which would effectively push his evangelist propaganda as a National religious movement.

2. Marginalizing gays (Calling them brute beasts), atheists and everyone else who doesn't toe the biblical/evangelistic line.

3. In his early years at his Thomas Rd Baptist Church, Falwell was prone to lampooning black Civil Rights Movements, and is not shy from featuring segregationist politicians such as Lester Maddox. No doubt, as the years roll past, his archaic views somehow didn't apply anymore, and he very wisely kept these views to himself in his latter years. I seriously believe that given the sinister nature of his demeanour, he would not have deviated from his early racist views.

4. A Pro-Israel Stand: Falwell is well-known for his pro-Israel stand, which includes the almost suicidal creed that Israel must not give "an inch of ground" to the Palestinians. Well, good for Falwell, bad for the Israelis. As if decades of suicide bombings and blood cuddling incursions by both sides are not enough to bring both warring sides to the negotiating table, they had this rambling fool of God pouring fuel into the burning cauldron.

Blaming Pagans, Abortionists,Secularists, Gays, Lesbians and ACLU for 911 Incident

Shortly after 911, jolly good Jerry remarked infamously on his good friend Pat Robertson's 700 Club, that America had in its own way, incurred the wrath of God that resulted in the terrorist attacks of 911:

"I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen."

Really. I wonder if any of those terrorists on board were feminists. Too much "le femme Nikita" movies must have freeze his brains.

Instead of joining the androgynous masses to mourn the dead, this moron chooses to deride his fellow Americans for having more rational agendas. Choosing such a tumultuous time to spread his vomit is a sure fire way to earn the ire of the general public (Even though they may seem to forget about it after a while).

Falwell's Legacy

Falwell's campaign of hatred and bigotry may well be his legacy. Along with his pal, Pat Robertson, both "Reverends" were at the forefronts of America's continuous campaigns to usher in a new age of theocracy in America.

As Hitchens commented heatedly on CNN, Falwell's "racket" would still be carried on by his family, and like all family businesses, Falwell's racket will not ride into the Sunset.

Why Should Atheists Say Nice Things About Falwell?

According to Christians, atheists who had upped the ante in keeping up with Falwell criticisms have not observed the decorum of respecting the dead and their loved ones.

The Christians do make a point, with one notable exception: How does one sing the praises of, say, Hitler, Stalin, or some crazy despot and eulogize about his great "accomplishments"?

This is not to say, however, that Falwell was a despot of that order, but he did propagate an agenda based on theocracy, irrationality, hatred and outright vehemence of all that do not agree with his Christian worldview, and when he was alive, he didn't have one good thing to say about those who don't agree with his religious beliefs.

And to that, I shall conclude my eulogy/article:

Butt Plugs: Built to Fit into "Reverend" Holes. God Bless Sodomy!

Good Riddance, Jerry. May the buttplug rest snugly in your ass.


Rev. Barking Nonsequitor said...

I'll break the ice - Falwell was a corrosive force to humanity. He was an enemy to atheists and GLBTs. There is reason to rejoice since his passing only helps our condition. There is no reason to respect such an unbelievably corrupt person even in death. To be certain, he would never do the same to you or I and indeed would piss on our graves.

breakerslion said...

Good point that, he certainly had no problem pissing on the graves of the fallen on 9/11 by blaming the victims for their fate.

So what do we do while we're waiting for the next bigoted megalomaniac to die? I know, lets sing!

99 barrels of lard on the wall, 99 barrels of lard....

BEAST said...

Nice, breakerslion.

As Hitchens describes aptly, "his chubby franks"........