Saturday, 1 November 2008

Why the Republican Ticket is Scary, & Why Americans Shouldn't Vote for them

As America edges ever closer to polling day (some states are already polling as I type), one of the most disturbing traits is the insipid pickings by the Republican ticket for the Presidential and vice-Presidential ticket. Ever since George Simian Bush took office 8 yrs ago, it seems that the Republicans have never really learned their lesson: The post of the Presidency for the United States of America is an extremely difficult post to fill, and nominating morons and other forms of invalids can prove disastrous not only for America, but the world as well, as the current financial turmoil has proved.

The Republican Ticket's Symbol.........

Alas, in the spirit of the recently departed Halloween, let us examine the Republican ticket closely and perhaps inspire some fear amongst some of the more beagle eyed voters who think that the Republicans are the only ones who can save America from economic hell.

John Mc Cain (aka The Departed)

Looking eerie: Mc Cain's Funeral Photo?

A close look at Mc Cain's age gives us a close insight to the ailing health of this self-proclaimed "maverick": At 72 yrs of age and a survivor of several bouts of life-threatening cancer, the prospects of McCain surviving his first four years of his Presidency are not very promising. Take into account that he spent his early years in the Vietnamese prisoner camp (He was shot down as a pilot during the Vietnam War), it is perhaps a minor miracle that he has lived this long and this far.

As David Letterman enthused, he could simply retire, become a national hero of sorts (despite his apparent involvement in the Keating 5 scandal), and bask in the glory of his past. No one could fault him for doing that, surely, but by putting himself in the firing line for the most coveted post in American politics, he might actually be doing the American public a huge disfavor.

And if indeed, Mc Cain does kick the bucket while serving office, his vice-President should be ready to step up to the plate. Or maybe not.......

Sarah Palin (aka The Beauty Queen)

Ah, the bambi-eyed, self-styled hockey mum and maverick (damn I hate this word!), Sarah Palin is the youngest of the two tickets. Obviously the MILF looks go down very well with horny, middle-aged men, and her renowned far-right conservative views makes her nomination an obvious calculated move.

That said, the advantages stop here, full brakes and a full-stop. Her abject ignorance in world politics were exposed to all and sundry in a series of interviews which really exposed a stupid, Alaskan barbie-doll look-a-like who is totally out of her depth with the task at hand:

1. Palin thinks that the proximity of her home from America's arch-enemy, Russia, makes her qualified in terms of foreign policy credentials (Heck, I live near Malaysia too. Does that count???).

2. In an interview, Palin can't give a decent example of a newspaper that she has read and derived her world views from (Could it be that, she is more interested in reading the Holey Babble?).

3. Can't give her opinions on the Bush Doctrine (Not knowing your own party mantra is a cardinal sin!).

4. Doesn't know the roles and responsibilities of a Vice President (She probably thinks giving head to Mc Cain is her primary role in the White House. Cue Monica Lewinsky).

What makes it more cringe-worthy is that in conjunction with her all-too-apparent stupidity, she mixes that with a slew of folksy language in a bid to endear her to the hill billies. "You betcha!" and "Dog-Gone-It" aphorisms can be powerful political tools for adept politicians, but when the politician involved is in the Bush category of all-time stupidity, it becomes an endless stream of meaningless diatribe that makes the politician look like a half-ass simian with a screw gone loose.

And given the frailty of Mc Cain, Sarah Palin is but a heart-beat away from the Presidency. Imagine, then, Mc Cain is dead, and Sarah takes the incumbent seat. She's faced with a crisis in the White House involving her favorite nation, Russia.

General: Madam President, may I confirm with you the executive order to fire nuclear missiles into Moscow?

Palin: Firing nu-cu-lar weapons? Dog-Gone-It, the Russkies have it coming.....

Clearly, hockey mums with cute, folksy dialects have no place in the world of deadly nuclear weapons.

In addition, Palin's close association with an Alaskan Church that expounds on expelling witches (She was "ordained" to cast witches by the notorious pastor), and her anti-abortion antics (she thinks abortion, except those pertaining to the lives of mothers should be banned. This explains why her pregnant 17 yr old daughter Bristol is about to be a mom herself. Talk about village fecundity) makes her a dangerous extremist from the far right.

The current financial crisis has also exposed the Republican ticket's myopia in economic terms: Hours before the Lehmann bank collapsed, Mc Cain was caught dead talking about the American economy in glowing terms: "The fundamentals of the American economy are strong."

Yes folks, the Republicans are indeed scary, not only because they represent the worst of the right-wing nuts; it is made worst by the fact that a continuous stream of non-qualified, mental retards can somehow be in contention for the all-important presidential tickets.

If all these doesn't quite scare you off the Republican ticket, a quote from New York Times should:

"Palin is a conservative Protestant and has also been a member since 2006 of Feminists for Life, an anti-abortion group. She has supported the teaching of intelligent design in public schools, alongside evolution. She is a member of the National Rifle Association, and has said Alaska's economic future depends on aggressively extracting its vast natural resources, from oil to natural gas and minerals."