Tuesday, 30 March 2010

Will Jesus return this Easter Sunday? I hope so!

I recently overheard a group of Christian proselytizers, telling people that President Obama is the antichrist, and jesus will return before the end of Obama’s first term in office. An old lady replied: “is this just more of that 2012 doomsday bullshit?” The proselytizer then said: “No, I believe he’s coming back on this next Easter Sunday, so you better get ready!”

As I was still standing there wondering what would make someone believe something as silly as this? I started daydreaming about what mode of transportation jesus might use if he did return on Easter Sunday – would he arrive on a spaceship? Or would he descend from the clouds as a 700 foot tall jesus, as some have speculated he will, and would the earth stop spinning as some have said. I thought, his dad is old-school – you know, the way he killed people by flooding the earth, when he could have just spoken and poofed everyone dead? I found the logistics of this just mindboggling, but then it hit me; what would be a better day for jesus to return than on Easter Sunday. Finding all his Christians would be so easy; as most will be in church that day, and worshiping him.

About the time when I was deep into my daydream, I started hearing the voice of one of the proselytizers, who was now barking at me and saying: “you better repent and get ready bro, this maybe our last week together here on earth.”

I then put my hand on his shoulder, and looked him straight in the eyes and said: “I hope so bro; the world will be so much a nicer place for all the rest of us, when all of you deluded are people gone!”