Thursday, 16 October 2008

All Those Herbivorious Tyrannosauruses!!!!

Ken Ham's Favorite Past time: Hunting T-Rexes in His Own Backyard

From time to time, I tend to read articles and stuff over the internet, and believe you me when I say that the internet is a treasure cove for all sorts of information: The good, the bad, and the funny!!!!

And when it comes to hilarity and sick, unctuous jokes, nothing ever comes closer than the website of Ken Ham, "Answers in Genesis". For those of you who have been sleeping on Mars, allow me to give you a brief introduction of this Creationist extraordinaire: He is the brain child and mastermind of the infamous Creationist Museum in Kentucky, USA. While he seems to have an affinity with ham and cheese, some of his wacky beliefs are truly beyond belief.

The Vegetarian T-Rex???

Ken's Version of T-Rex?

Like many deluded Creationists, Ken Ham (Gee I feel a little hungry already!) believes, amongst many unscientific dogmas swimming in his warped mind, that the Earth is approximately 4000 yrs old, that the world was really inundated by a catastrophic flood approximately 3000 yrs ago, and that T-Rex was actually Barney the Dinosaur co-existing side by side with Man, kind of like the domesticated pooches and pussy cats we have today.

In this feedback article (Link here), Ken Ham explains, with his somewhat convoluted form of "Science", the close, almost pooch-like sort of relationship between Dinosaurs and Man. Herein, I shall attempt to dissect some of his most absurd arguments involving one of the most "toothy" (kind of a cute word to use for such a creature) creatures ever to walk on the face of this planet.

1. Before the Fall From Grace

Adam & Eve ate the Damn Fruit; T-Rex started chomping cute little babies after that.......

According to "Ken Science", animals, along with humans, were all vegetarians before "The Fall"; i.e The cataclysmic event when Adam and Eve made the inexorable mistake of eating the fruit from the damn Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil:

Before Adam and Eve sinned (the Fall), man and T. rex would have peacefully co-existed. That is what we would expect from a God of peace. (This seems incredulous to us because we are so accustomed to the fallen state.) In Genesis 1:29–30, God gave animals and man only plants for food. Adam and T. rex would not have feared each other because neither was going to be dinner for the other! But things changed in Genesis 3, when man sinned.

Ken is correct to say that such an absurd idea is incredulous, but more on that later. A look at the scriptures will give us a clue to his assumptions:

Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food.

And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food." And it was so.
Genesis Chapter 1:29-30

One could argue that the bible did not explicitly indicate that every living creature on the planet had to be herbivorous after the Creation episode, but since this is not the main subject of discussion, I intend to give Ken the benefit of doubt.

2. The Gentle, Carrot Munching T-Rex?

Before the Fall, T-Rexes were furry, Little Creatures.......Seriously!

Ken Ham goes on to reckon that the real food chain (i.e the raw deal whereby the world becomes one giant restaurant: You either eat or be eaten) would have commenced before or after the flooding episode of Noah. Which means to say that, for a certain, albeit brief period of time (I use "brief" because I am talking in the context of Creationism, whereby everything happens in super light speed time), animals of all sorts were munching on mashed potatoes and green lettuces for their sustenance.

Ken Ham elucidates his point with regards to the suggestion of Man-eating T-rexes:
What makes you think T. rex killed humans? Possibly you have been influenced, as many others have, by movies like Jurassic Park that show the fierce T. rex eating every dinosaur and human it encountered. From the fossil record, the stomach contents of dinosaurs that belonged to the same kind as T. rex have typically revealed juvenile dinosaurs, such as hadrosaurs and triceratops. In addition, some evolutionists have suggested that some members of the T. rex kind even ate plants.

The Differences between Herbivores and Carnivores

A Cheetah's Teeth: Not Suitable for Chewing Vegetation

Before I continue, it is important for readers to understand the fundamental differences between meat-eaters and plant-eaters.

As in most cases, animals have evolved in ways that serve two primary purposes: Survival and Gene continuation. As a result, carnivores and herbivores have taken specific traits to aid survival.

As a general rule, animals possess specific teeth or other specialized devices to assist in food consumption. Most carnivorous mammals develop teeth for the purposes of killing and consuming prey: The sharp, canine teeth of a tiger, for example, is efficient for the tiger in the sense that it helps to tear up its prey for consumption. Or sharp beaks for eagles to tear and dissect prey with the greatest of ease. Herbivores, on the other hand, tend not to require sharp edges for tearing; they require large, flat surfaces to mesh vegetable matter. The flat molars of a giraffe helps the animal to grind leaves before it swallows it. One can hardly expect the tiger to chew on leaves; it would be disastrous for a tiger to sustain itself on any kind of vegetarian diet which requires teeth with a large surface area. Neither can a giraffe tear the tough fiber of a gazelle hindquarters with its flat teeth.

The innards of carnivores and herbivores have also evolved to digest different food materials: Herbivorous mammals, for example, have four-chambered stomachs to digest plant material, and also possess active and enlarged appendixes to aid in digestion. Carnivores, on the other hand, have reduced appendixes and possess gall bladders to produce bile (Stomach acid) for fat digestion.

Different animals deviate from each other in accordance to the food they consume, and judging by these factual observations, it is quite incredulous for Ken, or anyone else, to lump the T-Rex together with the cute, carrot-chewing bunny. In addition, herbivores and carnivores play a crucial and mutually dependent role in the intricate food chain: Without carnivores, herbivores would breed uncontrollably, stripping off plants and other vegetation bare; in time, they would be starved into extinction. Similarly, without herbivores, carnivores will not have food for sustenance. The idea that all animals were herbivores would have spelled extinction for all life on this planet.

The Real Face of T-Rex

T-Rex: The Sort of Neighbor You Definitely Don't Want to Have Living Next Door.......

Whether Ken Ham and his looney friends are fans of Barney the Dinosaur, one can only speculate, but when it roamed the Earth, the real T-Rex was everything but friendly.

A creature of the Cretaceous Period, this fearsome reptile (Tyrannosaurus Rex Translates to "Tyrant Lizard") roamed our planet approximately 65-68 million years ago (And no, they weren't getting pally with Noah and his stupid crew).

More than 30 of this species have been identified, and the vital statistics of this gargantuan monster speaks for itself:

i. Size: Measuring approximately 13m in length, 4m at its hips, and roughly 7 tons in weight.

ii. Has two rather small forelimbs, but huge, powerful hind limbs, a typical bipedal (two-legged) predator.

iii. Has a skull measuring 1.5m in length, with its mouth armed with rounds of sharp, closely-packed teeth up to 30 centimetres long.

To claim that T-Rex once walked on Earth with homo sapiens is an absurdity unto itself; but to speak of a cherry-chewing, docile T-Rex is kind of like lamenting about the idea that the moon is indeed made of green cheese.

Wack Jobs and Their Pseudo Science

Don't Let These Creationists Monkey Around Science Classrooms, For Kansas' Sake!!!

While it is fun to mock at and ridicule these morons for such perpetuating pseudo-scientific, Creationist nonsense, secular folks need to realize, in all seriousness, that morons like Ken the Ham do have the clout, financial or otherwise, to generate enough interest and publicity to smuggle their nonsense into Science classrooms.

By taking their own version of God and Jebus out of their doctrines and slapping it with the "Intelligent Design" brand, Christians have been trying to smuggle their ridiculous, cherry-munching T-Rex ideas into classrooms, and it would be a shame if such horrendously eschewed myths are taught in science classrooms as "Science".

After all, cherry-munching T-rexes do not exist (Barney the Dinosaur doesn't count).

"Today, the theory of evolution is an accepted fact for everyone but a fundamentalist minority, whose objections are based not on reasoning but on doctrinaire adherence to religious principles.
-Dr. James D. Watson, winner of the Nobel prize for his co-discovery of the structure of DNA

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