Thursday, 2 October 2008

The "Thank Gawd for Shit Campaign": A Dog's Tale

Throughout Man's gradual, arduous evolutionary journey from hunter-gatherer to the Agricultural Age and finally, the Industrial Revolution, few can argue the role of dogs as Man's intimate, eternal friend: Descendants of distinctly wild, uncouth wolves, dogs are bred precisely for their specific empathy and affinity with Man, so much so that one wonders if dogs have their own litany of prayer codes to invisible deities.

Like humans, dogs can never be sure of their status as creatures on this tipsy-turvy existence: We don't know for sure if Dogs do go to heaven, but one thing we do know for sure, shit happens to dogs too, as a certain pooch will testify.

Tina from Michigan posted this on behalf of her Black Labrador, Mister Jeb:

Jeb's Cool Looks Saved His Ass from the Dog Pound........

"My name is Jeb. I live somewhere in Michigan, not sure where, you see, I'm a dog. First I just want to say, thank Gawd for making me sooo cute and lovable, so my new master would take me away from that awful place called the 'pound'."

Shit No. 1: "Also, the pain I suffered from jabbing a stick into the back of my throat while running in the yard, I THANK GAWD for that shitty incident! Praise Jeebus!"

Shit No. 2: "Oh, and THANK GAWD for that sharp metal that practically sliced off all the pads on both of my feet, Praise all the shitty things that have happened to me, and the good!"

Jeb Thanks Gawd for his Daily Poop.......


Stick in throat, sliced-off foot-padding. Jebus sure hates this Black Labrador!!!

Overall Shit Factor: 7.5/10