Monday, 12 October 2009


After watching the movie Back To The future II; I started having this reoccurring dream. Night after night I dreamed that I had stolen the time traveling car, went back to 20 AD, or so, and tried to murder Jesus before his 33 AD date with the cross. This dreaming went on for weeks; most of the time when I did find Jesus, he was engaged in wild gay sex and orgies with his disciples. In 2 or 3 of the dreams; I was ass-raped, and then killed by them. It’s been many years since these dreams had ended; however, about two weeks ago, while sleeping this nightmare returned. This time I finally got him in the heart with a crossbow.
When I returned to the 80’s? The world had become almost totally Islamic, with a few Jews here and there. They were stoning and burning atheists, on almost every street corner. The infighting between Muslim sects had a daily death toll of over a 1000, just in my city. There were no modern city’s or towns; no electricity or running water, no cars or buses, no hospitals, or clinics, and. people’s teeth where rotting out of their heads.
When I finally located my home, I found my mom wearing a sheet, covering her from head to toe. She didn’t even recognize me, my sister had been married at the age of 11, and now was 17, and had given birth to 7 children, 3 of which, had survived.
Realizing I had made a major fuckup; so I decided to go back in time to the day, or so, before I’d killed this fucking prick; and somehow, prevent myself from killing him.
(To be continued).


Part II
As I made my way back to the car, which I had hid on the outskirts of town; as I was making my approach, I discovered about a dozen or so Muslims, had happened upon it, while returning home, from Morning Prayer. They didn’t seem like the aggressive types at first; so made my final approach, with keys in hand. When I finally entered the vehicle, and started preparing it for time travel; I notice they were all circling, and surrounding me, with spears, and rocks in their hands. So I decided to move the car, to a safer place before continuing. When I started up the car, and as the headlights came on; they all dropped to their knees, and started worshiping (the car, myself, or both)? As I sat there in amazement, feeling both relived, and disgusted. Almost about the same time, the light came on in my head (I don’t have to save Jesus; I just needed to kill Mohammad too)
I knew this thief, con-artist, and psychopathic fucking liar; was living in exile, somewhere in a cave, in the Middle East - in his place in time. So I programmed the car, and headed back to the past, to do the deed. When I arrived; I realized this would not be such an easy task. There were just too many others like him; who had all been run out of town, and most, for much the same reasons. When I finally found him; he was in a corner of his cave, and completely covered in his own shit. Moaning, and babbling on about Allah; while engaged in sex, with a very large sheep. So I decided to kill him, right there on the spot. As I as leaving, I turned around to have one final look; he was dead aright, and his sheep was standing over his dead body, and seemed to be crying. At this point, I said out loud: (so these where the types of Angel(s) who you where talking, and listing too; as you spent your 40 years here, while scheming, plotting, and planning in this cave)?

As I was walking back to the car, both tired, and mentally drained; I started wondering what kind of world, I’d find this time, when I returned. So I started the car, and headed for the 80’s again. When I returned back to my own time and space; the world had definitely changed! As I exited the car, the first thing I noticed was, the air was so fresh and clean. As I looked towards this pristine blue sky; there were all sorts of strange looking vehicles, flying in the air, and making their way across the sky. As I made my way into the city; the first thing I noticed, was, all the cars and buses, were all floating above the ground. About half the people I was seeing, looked like North American Indians, and all the rest, were of every other race, on the planet. They were all using some sort of advanced communication devices; most were speaking into, what looked like hand held computers. And there were holographic signs, everywhere. I was much relived to discover, they all spoke English. So I began asking directions, to the nearest library.

When I arrived at the library, and sat-down at one of the many computer terminals, I noticed there where many strange looking interfaces, that I’d never seen before. As I pulled out, this dusty old keyboard, and mouse; the children who were using other computers, all started laughing at me, and asking me “why wasn’t I using the thought processing unit.” This appeared to be the round rings; they all had placed on top their heads. As I continued using the mouse and keyboard; I thought if this computer started reading my thoughts right now, I’d crash the whole fucking system for sure!
As I started reading about the history that I had created; above the screen, there was a news banner stating: Albert Einstein’s latest scientific breakthrough, read more. I thought; Albert Einstein? This is the mid 1980’s, and he’s long been dead. As I continued my research; I soon discovered, this new world, had almost totally evolved without superstition, and ignorance. And had became so advanced; that over a 1000 years ago, people had began living, to well past150 years. As I started looking up things by dates; I became confused at first. Then I discovered; they were all using the Jewish calendar. So to keep this simple, here, I’ll use the Christian one.

In about the year 300 AD; and after the first Jewish enlightenment, most Jews had abandon most of their old myths, and superstitions, and started exploring the world through science. And by late 400 AD, and after discovering oil, in both Iraq, and Iran, they began building modern cities, and towns, schools and universities, hospitals…etc. And this technology had quickly spread, worldwide. There had been no wars, no racism, discrimination, or any of the other types of things, which comes along with religion. And by the end of the first millennium; they had solved all the problems, we’re still dealing with today. As I remained there in the library, still gloating over this almost perfect world, I had helped create; I stared wondering about my mom, dad, and siblings; and how they were now doing. So I left the library, and started a search for my home.

Part III

When I arrived at my home, and as I was exiting the car, up walked a childhood friend, who started asking me questions about the car. As I ask him: don’t you recognize me? I’m your friend John; he then said to me: “the only friend I have named John, lives here in this house, you’re parked in front of.”As this kid started back on his way; I realized, this was the 80s; and this guy should have been about 25 by now, not 12. As I looked over at the house, under the welcoming sign, my family’s name was still the same. About this same time, I noticed my strange looking car and me, was drawing a large crowed of people. So I decided to return to the spot, just outside of town; where I had popped through time, and try to sort, all this out.

As I arrived back at that spot; I began to realize, the impact of what I had read in the library. Without the influence of Christianity; there had been no Plymouth Rock landing, and most of Europe, had became secularized after the great European enlightenment, of 426. When the Europeans did discover the Americas; they were not on some Christian theologized conquest mission; they had simply set out to explore the world. The Jews soon had followed, and with the Europeans, began educating the Indians, and building a nation (there had been no wholesale slaughter, of these people; no conquest for their land even) They had done the same in many other parts of the world, including Africa. Slavery had been globally abolished by 462; and without the influence of ignorant and delusional, bible thumping Christians, it was quickly accepted! It was then I realized, the fact my father’s ancestors, had been brought over here as slaves – I started wondering if my dad, had even been born. As I was starting to feel deeply sadden by all this; I decided to get some rest, and return to the library the next day, so I could learn more.

The next morning, as I sat down at the same computer terminal, I had used the day before, and as I start my research; the news banner was saying: fatal accident inside the Mars colony, at base #26, read more.
As I found information on both my mom and dad, I found like before, my mom had been given a certificate of human life, in the same year and place in Canada where she was born. And my dad had met her, in the same place in Vancouver BC (I guessed, my dad’s ancestors, had somehow emigrated here from Africa - instead of being stolen, like before). And they had been issued, 3 certificate of human life, for their children, including me.

I started wondering why they were calling birth certificates; a certificate of human life. As I started looking further into matter, it became shockingly clear. After the turn of the first millennium, and science was able to treat and cure almost all sickness and dieses. In about the year 1126; a team of Jewish and German scientists, made a discovery, which would further change the course of human history. They developed a system; by which human embryos, could be made from the blood cells of the parents. During this process, the DNA could be stripped of all it’s undesirably traits; like the predisposed genetic fuckups, we all see today. The parents could even decide, if they wanted a boy, or a girl. How tall they’d be, and so on (folks of the likes of Glen Beck, and friends; where never even conceived of). And these embryos where all gestated, for nine months in labs. Then the tube was drained; the baby was then slapped on its ass, and presto! Your new baby. Laser bar coding, insured none were lost, or misplaced, and they were all implanted, with lifetime birth control devices (and people were soon enjoying sex, just for the fuck of it).

This method of child bearing wasn’t widely accepted at first. But without the likes of pure ignorance, of the Christians, and folks like the Pope; women all over the world came to realize, this was a far better option, than risking child birth; and all its complications, even death.

As I started to realize; I had no place in this new world. I had no family, no friends, or anyone, and as I was starting to feel hopeless; then I heard a little voice speaking in the back of my head, saying, “look you asshole; can you think of a more honorable cause, to give your life for.”So I pulled myself together, and headed back to a place in time; where there lived a race, of small hobbit like people in Asia, who had all died out; within 500 year, after I would had arrived. And just live out the rest of my days; knowing that my family, and even my own children, would all be just fine.

The end,