Wednesday 4 November 2009

MY FIRST LOVE: MY CHRISTIAN GIRLFRIEND

This is sort of a response to Vjack’ s post yesterday over at:

Atheist Revolution



When I was in my mid-teens, I started dating a black “Christian” girl, who was a year older than me. I had fallen head over heels for this cute little black sassy thing. It was love at first sight, I would guess. The day I met her, the first questions she ask me was how old am I, and which church I attended. I answered 15 to the first, and none to the second. She replied: “you don’t go to church; what kind of nigger are you – you’re just like all of the other high-yellow niggers; you think you’re too good to go to church, don’t you?” I simply replied: I just don’t do the church thing. She then said: “Maybe I’ll just have to kidnap you, and take you with me to my church.” As the weeks went by; we had developed a great relationship. She would call me on the phone at about 11 o’clock in the evening most every night. And I would pick her up on my motorcycle on the corner by her house. This went for months before her father finally caught her, creeping out of the house at night to meet me. Later that night, after our failed rendezvous; she called me about 1am. She said after her dad had caught her sneaking out the back door; he then told her, he’d know she had been doing this for months. And he only wanted to meet her mystery boyfriend, and see who she was sleeping with; and meet the father, of his future grandbabies.

I wasn’t much up for meeting this family of black church folks. Over the next 3 weeks, I was invited to her house about 10 or more times. I always managed to find some excuses or another; until one Saturday night, her dad called me himself and invited me to go to church with him, and the rest of family. He said; after which, we would return back to his house for Sunday dinner. He said: come by the house, at 8am the next day, so I could ride with them to church, and we could talk on the way (I thought, 8am on a Sunday morning; this guy’s got to be out of his fucking mind!) I told him I had to help my dad that next morning, but I would stop by that evening for dinner.

I awoke about 11:30am that next morning, and asking myself just what the fuck, I had gotten myself into. I spent the next 3 hours, psyching myself up for this date with her family. I arrived at the house about 4pm that evening; and was met at the door by my girlfriend. Who gave me a big huge and a kiss, (not knowing it would be my last) she then escorted me into kitchen where her kinfolks were all gathered around cooking dinner, and all talking about what happened at church that day. As she seated me at the table, directly across from her father; as I was being seated, I couldn’t help but notice, all the good smells of the food that they were cooking on the stove, and including the sounds of chicken frying in the skillet.

The room was so noisy; I could hardly make out anything that they were saying. I couldn’t even hear my own self think. About this time, a crusty old looking woman yelled out, “Did you see how that skank-bitch was dressed today at church, and how she was looking at pastor? I just know, that little whore don’t think pastor wants to fuck her?” they all seemed to be talking bad about the folks, they were all just at church with (I thought to myself; what a lovely Christian family). About that same time, another old crusty fat wench, walked over to the table, and looks at me and said, “So this is the boy you’ve been fucking? He looks like a little half-white bitch to me!”


As she finally introduced me to her dad; it felt to me like I’d been setting there for hours, but it had only been a minute or so. Her dad said: so you’re the one who’s been dating my daughter. The next question was; what church do you go to boy? For some reason, I couldn’t get myself to make eye contact with this heathen; so I simply looked at the floor and said: I don’t do the church thing. As the room got a little quieter, and as he reached across the table, and as he grasp both of my arms with his sweaty hands; he looked me in the face and said in a soft voice: son, don’t you know Jesus loves you, and he died for you? As I sat there in almost a state of shock; and feeling both mentally molested and violated. I told him: I just don’t believe all that stuff, and I’m an atheist.

At that moment, a deafening silence fell over the whole room – for a few moments, no one said a word. I even thought the chicken, which was cooking on top of the stove, had stopped sizzling in the skillet, and was somehow listening too. About this time, when you could have heard the sound of one hand clapping; her father looked at me and said: you’re a what? You’re a goddamned ATHEIST? YOU GET YOUR DEVIL WORSHIPING ASS THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE! Then the crusty old wench said to the girl: “you keep fucking him; you’ll give birth to the devil himself!” Then as her dad got up from the table and left the room; I started making my way to the front door. Her dad stepped in front of me, before I made it to the door, and pointed a shotgun in my face and said: “if I ever, even hear about you even talking to my daughter again, I’ll send your ass to hell, so you can be with your father Satan - you little devil worshiping bitch.”

Needless to say, she and I weren’t on good terms after that. Some good things came out of this however; from that day forward, when I was asked about my beliefs, or what church I attended. I never sidestepped the issue again.

The next time I seen my ex-girlfriend, was about ten years later. She was now a mother, and had given birth to 4 children, and now weighed more than 300 pounds, and was big fat and ugly. After seeing her, I had one of those theists’ moments; I look toward the sky, and raised my hands in the air, and said: THANK GOD IT WASN’T ME!


John_poson26